On Their Own Terms: Recognizing Giftedness in PDA Kids

What happens when a child is deeply intelligent, highly perceptive—and completely unwilling to jump through hoops? For families of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidant) youth, giftedness often shows up in ways that defy expectations. These kids may resist structure, reject rewards, and push back against even the gentlest nudges, leading others to overlook or misinterpret their gifts. In this session, we’ll take a closer look at the intersection of giftedness and PDA. We’ll explore what giftedness can look like in PDA profiles, why traditional markers like compliance, academic performance, or curiosity-on-demand often fall flat, and how parents can reframe their understanding to see the brilliance behind the resistance. Grounded in lived experience, professional training, academic research, and a neurodiversity-affirming lens, this talk will offer insight, compassion, and practical ideas for recognizing and supporting gifted PDAers—on their own terms.

You will come away from this session with the ability to:

• Describe how giftedness may present differently in PDA youth and why these differences are often overlooked or misinterpreted in conventional settings.

• Identify common misunderstandings about motivation, compliance, and ability in gifted PDAers, and reframe these through a neurodiversity-affirming lens.

• Apply supportive strategies that honor autonomy, reduce demand escalation, and recognize authentic expressions of giftedness in PDA youth—while addressing common fears about long-term outcomes.

GHF Vice President and Director of Press, Marna Walthall Wohlfeld is a mom of four. She has deschooled, unschooled, and homeschooled various kids at various stages. Passionate about advocating for twice-exceptional students, she is currently studying in the doctoral program at Bridges Graduate School for Cognitive Diversity in Education. Previously Marna worked in the non-profit sector.

Marni Kammersell, M.A., (she/her) is a neurodivergent educator who helps families create empowering, neuro-affirming home and learning environments. She is passionate about the neurodiversity paradigm, self-directed education, non-coercive relationships, and understanding experiences through the lens of the nervous system. Currently pursuing her doctorate at Bridges Graduate School, Marni focuses on neurodivergence and self-directed education. She draws inspiration and insights from her 15 years of experience in alternative educational settings, including homeschooling, unschooling, community education, democratic schools, and forest schools. Her greatest teachers are her own three children, who have never been to school. Enjoy her writing at https://wanderingbrightly.substack.com/